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Writing That Turns Heads and Opens Wallets
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Dear friends, if you like a good chuckle, dim-witted heroes, and larger-than-life villains, then you'll love this fascinating series. On Wednesdays and Sundays, I’m blogging nibble-sized chunks of new ‘Life in the Clouds’ stories. You can check in regularly and read them for free, or wait to buy the entire story when published.
#2: Enchanter on the Roof ® James Field. Part 48 In the last post: Despite having the chagrined law on his collar, Bert acted casual… “What happened here,” demanded Chief Inspector Dobbs. He'd changed into his ordinary civilian clothes: baggy trousers with turn-ups, and regardless of the mild morning weather, a yellow knitted pullover. “How did Dick Charmer escape from his handcuffs?” Two policemen climbed out of their patrol car, their uniforms bristling with antenna and clumsy radios that peeped and squeaked. “Morn, Sir,” said the tallest as he straightened his cap. “Is this the man you want us to take in?” He nodded toward Bert and then searched the immediate area with his eyes. "I thought you said there were two? Where's the other man?" “You're not taking anybody in yet,” thundered Chief Inspector Dobbs. “This is the man who can tell us how the other rogue escaped and where he went.” “Yeah,” said Bert, mouth turned downward. “I saw it all and there was nothing I could do.” He clanked his handcuff chains against the restraining scaffolding pole. "I'm still captive." “Tell me what happened, you blithering idiot.” Bert buzzed his lips. "Had a nice breakfast?” He blinked twice, and then added, “Sir.” The two policemen had joined the inspector, towering above him, one on each side. "I don't like the look of those dogs, Chief," said the constable on his left. Bert's two Alsatians sat by his feet, unblinking eyes fixed on the officers, a deep rumble in their throats. "Who let the dogs out?" demanded Chief Inspector Dobbs. "I ain't saying nothing," said Bert, and then hurriedly changed the subject. “Seems Four Ps escaped from the mighty Inspector Dobbs too." He used Dick Charmer's nickname on purpose, hoping it would rile the inspector enough to forget the dogs. “Chief Inspector,” screeched Dobbs, foam bubbling in the corners of his mouth. “Right. That’s it.” He whirled to face his constables and barked at them. “Take him in for questioning.” Bert shook his head. “I ain’t got time for that. I’m on duty soon up at The Cloud Mansion." A new thought dawned on him and he puffed out his chest. "Anyway," he said, voice full of bluster, "how you gonna unlock me without the keys?” To be continued… The real world: Rather than miss an instalment, it’s easy to follow my blog on bloglovin’. They’ll give you a friendly nudge as I release new parts. Like to know more about Alf, Bert and the rest of the gang? You can read their chaotic history in What on Earth. 'Enchanter On The Roof' is reaching its end. In one week, 'Gamblers who Cheat' makes an entrance. She contested the bygone will. He stood to lose his life's work. But neither had gambled on Alf. See you there ;-) - 
Bildet er tatt av OpenClipart-Vectors fra Pixabay
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Dear friends, if you like a good chuckle, dim-witted heroes, and larger-than-life villains, then you'll love this fascinating series. On Wednesdays and Sundays, I’m blogging nibble-sized chunks of new ‘Life in the Clouds’ stories. You can check in regularly and read them for free, or wait to buy the entire story when published.
#2: Enchanter on the Roof ® James Field. Part 47 In the last post: The police were coming to fetch Bert and he froze in panic… Bert closed his eyes and summoned a deep breath, holding it in. Turning his head a fraction, he listened to the impending police sirens. They were definitely moving in his direction. He still wore his best clothes from last evening's disco: a new pair of blue denim jeans and a clean white T-shirt. The garments were thin and he shuddered, but not because of the cool morning air. He felt trapped and couldn't make his mind up what to do next. If he scurried away, the law enforcement would catch him and have a million questions. If he went to work as if nothing had happened, the force would still have a million questions. He rubbed the back of his neck and wished his best mate Alf was with him to tell him what to do. Then, to make matters worse, he sighted Chief Inspector Dobbs strutting toward him along the pebble lane. From the opposite direction, the police car came into view, bouncing over the pot-holed road to join them, a plume of dust in its trail, the siren blaring. Unable to determine which way to run, Bert spun twice, first in one direction, and then the other. As he twirled, he patted himself down, searching for incriminating evidence. He dug his hands in his pockets and cursed, he'd found the handcuff keys. Quicker than a spring-loaded mousetrap, his arm muscles triggered and he tossed the keys back onto the scaffolding boards above his head. In the same state of subconscious panic, he snapped the handcuffs over his wrists again, restraining himself exactly as Chief Inspector Dobbs had left him. As the policeman drew close enough to see properly, Bert crossed his legs, leaned his elbows on a section of scaffolding cross pole, rested his head in his hands, and whistled his tuneless tune. To be continued… The real world: Rather than miss an instalment, it’s easy to follow my blog on bloglovin’. They’ll give you a friendly nudge as I release new parts. Like to know more about Alf, Bert and the rest of the gang? You can read their chaotic history in What on Earth. - 
Bildet er tatt av Dmitry Abramov fra Pixabay
Dear friends, if you like a good chuckle, dim-witted heroes, and larger-than-life villains, then you'll love this fascinating series. On Wednesdays and Sundays, I’m blogging nibble-sized chunks of new ‘Life in the Clouds’ stories. You can check in regularly and read them for free, or wait to buy the entire story when published.
#2: Enchanter on the Roof ® James Field. Part 46 In the last post: Bert offered a hand of friendship. He clamped Dick Charmer's mitt and squeezed… At first, the bones in Dick Charmer’s hand ground together in a tangle of knots. “If you scream,” said Bert, squeezing ever harder, “you’ll bring the police running. We don’t want that, do we?” Then the bones cracked and twisted out of joint and air exploded from Dick Charmer’s lungs in a squeal of agony. “Oops!” said Bert, “Sometimes I forget my strength. Still, it’ll stop you pick-pocketing young ladies for a while, won’t it?” Dick Charmer staggered to his feet, careful to hold his mutilated hand away from his body, out of harm's way. His chin trembled and tears streaked his cheeks. “If you ever come back,” said Bert. “I’ll break the other one too. Understand?” Keeping his eyes averted, Dick Charmer answered with a slight nod. He grabbed his small suitcase in his left hand and darted away into the woods. Bert followed the departing man until lost from view. He shook his head and glared up at the sky. It was over. The troublemaker had scattered like a cat with pepper on its tail and wouldn't come round again. Life could return to normal and Olive would turn her affection back to him. “Sorry, Chums,” he said to his Alsatians. “No fresh meat today. Let’s get home, quietly, I don’t want anyone to notice us.” Before Bert came from the cover of trees, he checked to see if the coast was clear. A horse and cart rattled along the pebble road, but the driver stared into his smartphone, thumbs twiddling across the screen. After it had passed, Bert darted to his house, hid the pouch of stolen jewels in one of the Alsatian’s kennel, and returned to the place where his handcuffs still dangled to a scaffolding pole. In the distance, he caught the wail of police sirens. He froze, and his forehead creased with worry. They were coming for him and he didn't know what to do. To be continued… The real world: Rather than miss an instalment, it’s easy to follow my blog on bloglovin’. They’ll give you a friendly nudge as I release new parts. Like to know more about Alf, Bert and the rest of the gang? You can read their chaotic history in What on Earth. - 
The picture is taken by Alexas_Fotos from Pixabay
Dear friends, if you like a good chuckle, dim-witted heroes, and larger-than-life villains, then you'll love this fascinating series. On Wednesdays and Sundays, I’m blogging nibble-sized chunks of new ‘Life in the Clouds’ stories. You can check in regularly and read them for free, or wait to buy the entire story when published.
#2: Enchanter on the Roof ® James Field. Part 45 In the last post: Bert recouped his Rolex and engagement ring, but he wasn't stopping there… Before Dick Charmer could protest, Bert snatched the pouch of stolen jewellery and shoved the unsuspecting man back against the tree trunk. “I’m in a hurry, so I’ll take the lot.” “But you can’t,” groaned Dick Charmer. “I worked hard to get those.” Bert dropped his hand on Dick Charmer’s shoulder, making it sag under the weight. “Sorry about that, but like what I told you before, I used to be a thief too.” He didn't miss those days. Stealing other people's possessions had always left him feeling guilty. At first, he'd plundered cash from his mum's purse and his dad's wallet. But they were poor, and when he found his dear old mother crying one day, empty purse in hand, he stole from other people and made regular secret donations to their funds. They weren't as bright as him, and apart from scratching their heads now and then, never suspected where the heaven-sent money had come from. He'd hated school, and from the age of thirteen had played truant almost every day. He sneaked rides on buses and trains, stole comics and nosh from shops, and looted unlocked garages and garden sheds. During one of his terms in prison, he made friends with Alf, and together they formed a partnership, working at a successful career of mugging. Even then, Bert had insisted they left women and children alone. The crook in front of him now, Dick Charmer, concentrated on stealing from women and children, and Bert despised him for it. He lifted the gold chain and locket that Dick Charmer had planted on his neck, and dropped it over Dick Charmer’s. “You can have it back. And like what you told me, Dobby the Bobby won't chase me when you tell him where it came from." He tugged on his bottom lip. Is that really what he'd told him? He shrugged. "Better hurry off before the police catch you with it.” “You’re a thief,” screeched Dick Charmer. “Yeah. Ain’t lost me knack, have I?” Dick Charmer slammed his fists into the tree trunk behind his back and then scrubbed his face with his hands. “Can I go now?” “Yeah, you better run. No hard feelings.” Bert held his hand out for a shake. “Honour among thieves and all that crap.” With an impatient snort, Dick Charmer took Bert’s hand. His flimsy little fingers disappeared inside Bert’s massive mitt, thumb and all. Then Bert squeezed and the muscles in his forearms bunched into knots. Trapped in the vice-like grip, Dick Charmer sunk to his knees: teeth clenched, eyes crossed, and a gurgle in his throat. To be continued… The real world: Rather than miss an instalment, it’s easy to follow my blog on bloglovin’. They’ll give you a friendly nudge as I release new parts. Like to know more about Alf, Bert and the rest of the gang? You can read their chaotic history in What on Earth. 
Bildet er tatt av OpenClipart-Vectors fra Pixabay
Dear friends, if you like a good chuckle, dim-witted heroes, and larger-than-life villains, then you'll love this fascinating series. On Wednesdays and Sundays, I’m blogging nibble-sized chunks of new ‘Life in the Clouds’ stories. You can check in regularly and read them for free, or wait to buy the entire story when published.
#2: Enchanter on the Roof ® James Field. Part 44 In the last post: With Dick Charmer at Bert's mercy, he wanted to teach him a lesson he wouldn't soon forget… Dick Charmer, back pinned against the knobby tree trunk, rubbed his fingers through his hair as if a pain throbbed deep inside his head. "Honestly, Bert," he whined, "I haven’t any designs with Olive. It's you she loves. She told me so." "Didn't look much like it." Although Bert suspected he lied, he closed his eyes briefly and gave a compulsive nod. Despite the reassuring words, he didn't want to lose focus. He'd savour them for later. “I ain’t got time to stand here chatting with you, so I think I’ll just modify your mug anyway.” He grabbed Dick Charmer’s shirt collar in his left hand and drew his right fist back ready to strike. “Wait!” Dick Charmer covered his head in his arms. “Don’t hit me. I’ll give you anything you want.” Bert cocked his head and sunk his arm. “Yeah, like what?” “You can pick any piece of treasure from my pouch of goods.” Bert brought his callused fist up again. “Two pieces.” Still Bert hesitated. “Three pieces.” “Okay, show me.” As soon as Bert released him, Dick Charmer dived for his small suitcase, snapped the locks, opened the lid, and plucked out his cloth pouch of stolen jewellery. His fingers shuddered as he tugged on the drawstrings and let Bert peek inside. “Ah, me Rolex.” Bert dug in and fished his watch out. “And Olive's engagement ring.” “One more thing,” said Dick Charmer. “Anything you like.” Bert shook his head. “Three more things. This watch and ring belong to me. They don’t count.” To be continued… The real world: Rather than miss an instalment, it’s easy to follow my blog on bloglovin’. They’ll give you a friendly nudge as I release new parts. Like to know more about Alf, Bert and the rest of the gang? You can read their chaotic history in What on Earth. - 
Bildet er tatt av OpenClipart-Vectors fra Pixabay
Dear friends, if you like a good chuckle, dim-witted heroes, and larger-than-life villains, then you'll love this fascinating series. On Wednesdays and Sundays, I’m blogging nibble-sized chunks of new ‘Life in the Clouds’ stories. You can check in regularly and read them for free, or wait to buy the entire story when published.
#2: Enchanter on the Roof ® James Field. Part 43 In the last post: Free at last, Bert set his dogs on Dick Charmer. He warned them not to eat him until he caught up… Bert squinted in all directions. When sure nobody would see him, he dashed across the gravel road and plunged into the same copse of trees as Dick Charmer. Once out of view, he slowed his pace to a resolute march, fists clenched and a murderous snarl on his lips. It wasn’t hard to follow Dick Charmer's path through the tangle of broken brush, and he soon caught the growl of his dogs and the man’s whimpering. When Bert caught up, Dick Charmer stood with his back pressed against a tree and the two Alsatians glaring at him. Had he dared to move, they left no doubt they would have sunk their teeth into him. “Get your dogs off me,” he wailed, lips and chin trembling. “I ain’t going to let them hurt you,” said Bert, catching his breath, “because I’m going to do that myself.” He clicked a finger and the Alsatians slinked to his heels, one each side, never once taking their hungry eyes from Dick Charmer. “At ease, Chums.” They sat, and Bert patted their heads. “What are you planning to do with me,” said Dick Charmer, eyes bulging with fright. “I’m going to mangle that pretty face of yours so no women will ever look at you again.” Dick Charmer released a huge breath of relief and shook his head. “Is that what this is all about?” “Yeah. You’re a menace to women, and especially my Olive.” “No,” said Dick Charmer, looking heavenward and clicking his tongue as if confronted by an idiot. “No, my friend, you’ve got me all wrong. I’m a professional pickpocket. I only pretend to flirt with women so as I can get close enough to rob them. Olive means nothing to me, none of them do.” Bert scratched his stubbly cheek and leaned forward to glare his foe in the eye. “Oh yeah,” he drooled, forcing a sarcastic smile, “I never thought of that. I suppose we can be friends now and I can let you go.” Dick Charmer nodded, but he must have recognised the contempt in Bert's words and manner because he swallowed hard and his bloodless lips twisted in a mockery of a smile. At last Bert had the mischief maker at his mercy, and after all the bad luck he'd recently suffered, he needed to act fast before something else went wrong. All he required was five minutes to teach him a lesson that he wouldn't soon forget. To be continued… The real world: Rather than miss an instalment, it’s easy to follow my blog on bloglovin’. They’ll give you a friendly nudge as I release new parts. Like to know more about Alf, Bert and the rest of the gang? You can read their chaotic history in What on Earth. - 
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James Field
Talvik, Norway You can also Find me on 
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