Bert felt jealous, cheated on, and blue. Then he discovered he could morph into a giant nightmarish slug...
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On Wednesdays and Sundays I’m blogging nibble-sized chunks of new ‘Life in the Clouds’ novellas. You can check in regularly and read them bit for bit, or leave a message in my 'contact' page, and I'll send the entire digital story to you for free when published.
Life in the Clouds #6: Take a Slug ® James Field.
Dear friends, if you like a good chuckle, dim-witted heroes, and larger-than-life villains, then you'll love this fascinating series. On Wednesdays and Sundays, I’m blogging nibble-sized chunks of new ‘Life in the Clouds’ stories. You can check in regularly and read them for free, or wait to buy the entire story when published.
#2: Enchanter on the Roof ® James Field. Part 49
In the last post: The police wanted to unlock Bert's handcuffs, but they'd lost the keys…
Chief Inspector Dobbs patted his pockets, then rummaged through them one at a time. His constables waited patiently. One of them yawned.
“Damn,” said the inspector. “Must have left the keys in my dressing gown. Nobody move until I get back.”
“They ain’t in your dressing gown,” said Bert, studying his fingernails.
The inspector spun on him. “What?"
"They ain't in your dressing gown."
An ugly smirk played across Dobbs's lips, "I wouldn't be so cocky if I were you. Explain yourself.”
“I'll tell you where they are when you’re a bit more congenious.”
"You mean congenial."
"Yeah, that's what I said. Congealiant." Bert picked his nose and studied his fingernails again.
Seconds ticked past. The inspector tapped his toe, and then exploded. “Tell me, you big dummy.”
Bert lifted his chin and tried to fold his arms. “No. You gotta say please.”
“And then you gotta let me go, because I ain't done nothing but stand here locked up the whole time.”
One of the patrolmen cleared his throat. “Sir, the other guy is getting away.”
“Go and find him them, you pair of incompetent ninnies. Do I have to do everything myself?”
The constables glanced at each other, then the other said: “Any idea which way he went, Sir?”
“Of course I don’t you fu…” Chief Inspector Dobbs drew three deep breaths: in through the nose, out through the mouth. “No, I don’t know which way he went.” He turned to Bert, raised his arms, and let them flop back by his side. “Perhaps you would be so kind to brief us? Pleeease.”
To be continued…
The real world:
Rather than miss an instalment, it’s easy to follow my blog on bloglovin’. They’ll give you a friendly nudge as I release new parts.
Like to know more about Alf, Bert and the rest of the gang? You can read their chaotic history in What on Earth.
'Enchanter On The Roof' is reaching its end. Next week, 'Gamblers who Cheat' makes an entrance.
She contested the bygone will. He stood to lose his life's work. But neither had gambled on Alf.
See you there ;-)
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The Thursday Murder Club by Richard Osman
My rating: 2 of 5 stars
There’s a lot to like and a lot to dislike in this story. I like that it’s cosy, funny, and heart-warming. The plot, however, is a tragedy. There are two murders, and every character in the book, of which there are many, has a motif. With so many twists, turns, and red herrings throughout the narrative, it lost me in a virtual maze.
But the author commits the gravest crime: he introduces a new, guilty character right at the end of the story. Tut, tut, naughty.
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