Bert felt jealous, cheated on, and blue. Then he discovered he could morph into a giant nightmarish slug...
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On Wednesdays and Sundays I’m blogging nibble-sized chunks of new ‘Life in the Clouds’ novellas. You can check in regularly and read them bit for bit, or leave a message in my 'contact' page, and I'll send the entire digital story to you for free when published.
Life in the Clouds #6: Take a Slug ® James Field.
In the last post: Chief Inspector Dobbs knows the whereabouts of the lost engagement ring. The others are blank...
Dear friends, if you like a good chuckle, dim-witted heroes, and larger-than-life villains, then you'll love this fascinating series. On Wednesdays and Sundays, I’m blogging nibble-sized chunks of new ‘Life in the Clouds’ stories. You can check in regularly and read them for free, or wait to buy the entire story when published.
Enchanter on the Roof ® James Field. Part 38
After Chief Inspector Dobbs had stormed off to eat breakfast, Dick Charmer and Bert glared at each other. They were alone now, two houses apart, handcuffed to scaffolding that besieged the terrace building.
“Shame I won’t get to finish the roof,” said Dick Charmer, and rattled his handcuffs against the pole that held him captive.
"Shame I didn't get to hang you," muttered Bert. “You’re clever at fixing roofs all right, but even cleverer at ruining people’s love lives. You’re a danger to women and ought to be wiped out like the piece of snot you are.”
Dick Charmer chuckled, and his mouth slackened in mock shock. “Who, me?”
“Yeah, you. And if we wasn’t chained up like this I’d come over there and break every bone in your body. Prison’s too good for you.”
“Prison? No way!” Dick Charmer rocked back on his heels and snickered. “I won’t be going to prison." He squinted at Bert, a hard smile on his face. "But you will.”
Bert turned away, giving himself time to gather his thoughts. He didn't understand why either of them should go to prison. Apart from causing a disturbance and frightening the life out of his fiancé, Olive, they had done nothing wrong: especially him.
Still, Chief Inspector Dobbs had promised to have them locked up, and he doubtless would, at least for a few days, maybe even longer. “How are you gonna get out this prediclement then?” He narrowed his eyes and tried to cross his arms; when that proved impossible he spread his legs instead.
"You mean predicament, Bert."
"Yeah, that's what I said, premicadent."
“Easy.” Dick Charmer winked, twisted his hip, slid his right hand into a pocket, and drew out a small bunch of keys. With one deft movement, he unlocked his handcuffs and skipped away from the scaffolding.
To be continued…
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Like to know more about Alf, Bert and the rest of the gang? You can read their chaotic history in What on Earth.
Image by OpenClipart-Vectors from Pixabay
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The Thursday Murder Club by Richard Osman
My rating: 2 of 5 stars
There’s a lot to like and a lot to dislike in this story. I like that it’s cosy, funny, and heart-warming. The plot, however, is a tragedy. There are two murders, and every character in the book, of which there are many, has a motif. With so many twists, turns, and red herrings throughout the narrative, it lost me in a virtual maze.
But the author commits the gravest crime: he introduces a new, guilty character right at the end of the story. Tut, tut, naughty.
View all my reviews