In the last post: Bert's murderous plan had failed. Plan B was useless too. Struggling with the problem, he fell asleep...

Dear friends, if you like a good chuckle, dim-witted heroes, and larger-than-life villains, then you'll love this fascinating series. On Tuesdays and Saturdays, I’m blogging nibble-sized chunks of new ‘Life in the Clouds’ stories. You can check in regularly and read them for free, or wait to buy the entire story when published.


Enchanter on the Roof ® James Field. Part 19

Dick Charmer strolled home from the Ye Olde Inn’s discotheque and gave himself a mental pat on the back. He’d slow danced with almost every lovesick girl, stolen their jewellery, and then slipped out after making an excuse that he needed the toilet.

The night was warm, the moon bright, and costly trinkets jingled in his pockets. The pickings from the rich families’ daughters had been bountiful. He’d even pinched Chief Inspector Dobbs’s identification card as a bonus trophy.

His ears still rang from the disco’s loud music, but as he approached the row of terrace houses, he swore he could hear a pig grunting somewhere. He stopped to listen. Strange, it came from the scaffolding that surrounded the houses where he lived and worked. He’d heard about pigs with wings and wondered how else it could’ve found its way up there.

One slow step at a time, he crept up the scaffolding ladder far enough to peek over the edge. And there it was, bathed in moonlight, grunting and snorting, the biggest pig he'd ever seen.
Dick Charmer rubbed his eyes and climbed another rung. Slowly, it dawned on him that it wasn’t a pig, but Bert, the ugly brute who lived in the house at the terrace's other end.

He thought the giant must have found it too warm indoors and decided to sleep out. But he was fully clothed and had no pillow or other bedtime things. Also, why sleep above Olive's door and not his own?

Furrowing his eyebrows, Dick Charmer studied Bert closer. Why he was lying there, flat out on his back with his mouth wide open, was a disturbing riddle. Whatever the reason, Dick Charmer felt his insides twist. He rubbed an eyebrow and swallowed. Did Bert suspect he'd stolen his Rolex and planned to take the law into his own hands? No, it couldn't be, Bert was too stupid and it didn't explain why he snored above Olive's front door. But why then?

To be continued…

The real world:

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Like to know more about Alf, Bert and the rest of the gang? You can read their chaotic history in What on Earth.

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