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Bert felt jealous, cheated on, and blue. Then he discovered he could morph into a giant nightmarish slug... Would you like a FREE copy? On Wednesdays and Sundays I’m blogging nibble-sized chunks of new ‘Life in the Clouds’ novellas. You can check in regularly and read them bit for bit, or leave a message in my 'contact' page, and I'll send the entire digital story to you for free when published. Life in the Clouds #6: Take a Slug ® James Field. |
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Dear friends, if you like a good chuckle, dim-witted heroes, and larger-than-life villains, then you'll love this fascinating series. On Tuesdays and Saturdays, I’m blogging nibble-sized chunks of new ‘Life in the Clouds’ stories. You can check in regularly and read them for free, or wait to buy the entire story when published. Enchanter on the Roof ® James Field. Part 24 In the morning, as the first light of day crept into her room, Olive sat up in bed and rubbed her face. “You bloody fool,” she scolded herself. She’d tossed and turned all night, thinking about her fiancé, Bert, and the wrong she had done him. The poor man had watched her make a fool of herself trying to make out with Dick Charmer, a scrawny self-digger fifteen years younger than her. In the long run, if she had to choose between the two, she would settle for Bert any day. Bert was such a strange, mysterious darling: six-foot-six tall and thirty stone. He was an ogre of a human being, with no neck and a bulbous head that properly belongs to a bulldog. His hands can crush cocoa-nuts as though they were ostrich eggs. He might be the ugliest man she had ever met, big and menacing as he was, but beneath the flab he was as kind and gentle as a kitten. Kids and animals loved him. And he loved them back. They saw through his hostile exterior to the maternal softness within. Above all, he loved her with such a possessive passion that her toes curled with the thought. Such is his strength, that he won a bet once by tearing his way out of a straitjacket, although it's surprising they found one to fit him. His chest and belly resemble a massive fragmentation grenade, and if you were stupid enough to pull the pin, it was liable to detonate. How on earth must he have felt, she asked herself, watching me flirt with Dick Charmer? An acute pang of shame ran through her and she pulled her knees into her chest. She remembered his look of hurt and disappointment at the disco, so deep that a shadow of self-destruction had hung over him; either that or the destruction of something or someone else. Heavens, what a fool she'd made of herself. Worse, would the sweet giant ever forgive her? She climbed out of bed and made for the bathroom. Whatever else she did today, somehow or another she would make it up to him. To be continued… The real world: Rather than miss an instalment, it’s easy to follow my blog on bloglovin’. They’ll give you a friendly nudge as I release new parts. Like to know more about Alf, Bert and the rest of the gang? You can read their chaotic history in What on Earth. - 
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Dear friends, if you like a good chuckle, dim-witted heroes, and larger-than-life villains, then you'll love this fascinating series. On Tuesdays and Saturdays, I’m blogging nibble-sized chunks of new ‘Life in the Clouds’ stories. You can check in regularly and read them for free, or wait to buy the entire story when published.
Enchanter on the Roof ® James Field. Part 23 After Olive had stormed home alone from Ye Olde Inn’s disco, she'd slumped into her favourite easy chair and buried her face in her hands. Never had anyone humiliated her so. Even though she'd dressed like a teenager in ultra-mini miniskirt, black bra, and see-through frilly blouse, Dick Charmer had rejected her: a look of utter disgust plastered all over his face. Who does he think he is? Just because all the silly little rich tarts swooned over him, there was no reason to snub her in front of everyone. If it hadn't been for that interfering slob of a policeman, Dobbs, she would've scratched Dick Charmer's eyes out and tied his goolies into knots. But the disastrous night was over and soon Dick Charmer would finish his work on the terrace house roof and leave. Good riddance to him; there were plenty more sweethearts in the world. Maybe someone a little older, a poet was her dream man. She removed her make-up, tossed her clothes in the laundry basket, stood under a hot shower until the water turned cold, climbed into bed and pulled the sheets over her head. I’m not getting old, she consoled herself. The years creep up on most people like a serpent in the night. But I stopped ageing at twenty. I'm a ripe peach. Drowsy, her wistful thoughts turned to her fiancé, Bert. He was a gigantic ugly brute with kind eyes. He wasn't very bright, either, and seemed not to mind her little flirtations. And then she fell asleep and dreamt, and her dream was of the fairy tale, Beauty and the Beast: Bert playing the part of the beast, her the beauty. In this version of the story, however, she laughs at the beast and runs away to her lover, the poet. Ah, aren't dreams wonderful! To be continued… The real world: Rather than miss an instalment, it’s easy to follow my blog on bloglovin’. They’ll give you a friendly nudge as I release new parts. Like to know more about Alf, Bert and the rest of the gang? You can read their chaotic history in What on Earth. - 
Image by Biljana Jovanovic from Pixabay
Dear friends, if you like a good chuckle, dim-witted heroes, and larger-than-life villains, then you'll love this fascinating series. On Tuesdays and Saturdays, I’m blogging nibble-sized chunks of new ‘Life in the Clouds’ stories. You can check in regularly and read them for free, or wait to buy the entire story when published.
Enchanter on the Roof ® James Field. Part 22 Dick Charmer removed a few bulky rocks from around the scarecrow's base, rested it on the ground, untangled it from its wooden poles, and hoisted it onto his back. Its weight surprised him. Although it looked like a fully grown man, it felt lighter than a toddler. The work had taken longer than expected and the brief summer night was drawing to an end. A hazy glow of red on the horizon made him hurry. Sweat soon trickled down his spine and dripped from his brow, and just as the first cockerel squawked he saw a farmworker in the distance, strolling towards him. Dick Charmer jumped into a ditch beside the gravel road and threw himself down. Thank God it was dry after so many warm summer days. When he dared to peek over the edge, the farmworker was no longer there, probably attending to the horses in a nearby stable. Hoisting the scarecrow high on his back, Dick Charmer ran. Dogs barked somewhere, and as he dashed past the stable, he heard the farmworker chatting to the fillies. At any other time, the early morning sights and sounds would have soothed his soul and made him glad to be alive. Right now, he thought his heart might explode. But he reached the row of three terrace houses without further trouble and slipped the scarecrow’s head through the noose hanging in front of Olive’s frontdoor. The strawman swung gently by its neck, head slumped forward and facing the door, feet inches above the ground, arms dangling by its side. It looked so much like a corpse that the hairs on the back of Dick Charmer’s neck bristled, and a shudder tickled his backbone. When Bert sees the result of his murderous plan, he thought, it'll be his heart that explodes. And then, hardly able to stop himself from laughing out loud, Dick Charmer slithered off to bed. To be continued… The real world: Rather than miss an instalment, it’s easy to follow my blog on bloglovin’. They’ll give you a friendly nudge as I release new parts. Like to know more about Alf, Bert and the rest of the gang? You can read their chaotic history in What on Earth. 
Image by marcelkessler from Pixabay
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James Field
Talvik, Norway You can also Find me on 
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 The Thursday Murder Club by Richard OsmanMy rating: 2 of 5 stars There’s a lot to like and a lot to dislike in this story. I like that it’s cosy, funny, and heart-warming. The plot, however, is a tragedy. There are two murders, and every character in the book, of which there are many, has a motif. With so many twists, turns, and red herrings throughout the narrative, it lost me in a virtual maze. But the author commits the gravest crime: he introduces a new, guilty character right at the end of the story. Tut, tut, naughty. View all my reviews Archives
August 2022
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