Voice in Fiction: Active vs. Passive (and Why It Matters More Than You Think)

Hello, fellow fiction writers.

Let’s clear something up straight away: passive voice isn’t evil.
It’s just misunderstood—and often overused.
If you’ve ever had an editor circle half your page and write “too passive” in the margin, you’ll know how confusing this topic can be. So let’s break it down in plain English, without grammar lectures or red pen trauma.

🎯 What Do We Mean by Active and Passive Voice?
In simple terms:

• Active voice = the subject does the action
• Passive voice = the subject has something done to it

Example:

• Active: The dog bit the man.
• Passive: The man was bitten by the dog.

Same event. Very different energy.
Active voice feels immediate and punchy. Passive voice feels distant and softer. Both have a place—but fiction leans heavily toward one of them.

🚀 Why Active Voice Dominates Fiction
Most fiction thrives on momentum. Readers want movement, emotion, and cause-and-effect that feels alive.
Active voice:

• Feels more direct
• Speeds up pacing
• Clarifies who’s doing what
• Keeps scenes dynamic

Example:Passive:
The door was opened, and the gun was raised.
Active:
He kicked the door open and raised the gun.
Suddenly we have urgency, intention, and character.

🧠 Where Passive Voice Sneaks In (Without You Noticing)
Passive voice often creeps into early drafts because it feels… polite. Or safe. Or vague.
Common culprits:

• “was + verb” constructions
• Avoiding naming who did something
• Trying to sound dramatic

Example:The decision was made to leave immediately.
By whom? The cat? The council? A ghost?
Fix:She decided to leave immediately.
Simple. Clear. Alive.

😈 When Passive Voice Actually Works
Here’s the twist: passive voice isn’t always wrong. Used deliberately, it can be effective.
Use passive voice when:

• The action matters more than the actor
• The character doesn’t know who caused something
• You want distance or emotional numbness

Example:By morning, the village had been destroyed.
This keeps the focus on devastation, not mechanics.

👣 A Personal Anecdote: My “Was” Problem
Years ago, an editor told me: “Your characters spend a lot of time being things instead of doing things.”
I searched my manuscript and found “was” everywhere--was standing, was walking, was looking.
I cut half of them, rewrote the rest, and the story instantly felt sharper. Same scenes. More energy.

🛠 How to Shift from Passive to Active (Without Overthinking)
Here’s a quick trick:

1. Find the verb
2. Ask: Who’s doing this?
3. Put them front and centre

Before:The glass was dropped, and the room went silent.
After:She dropped the glass. The room went silent.
No gymnastics. Just clarity.

⚖️ Balance Is the Key
The goal isn’t to purge every passive sentence from your novel. That’s exhausting and unnecessary. The goal is awareness.
Ask yourself:

• Is this sentence hiding action?
• Is it slowing momentum?
• Am I avoiding naming responsibility?

If yes—go active.
If no—leave it alone.

🎬 Wrapping It Up
Active voice keeps your fiction moving. It gives characters agency and scenes urgency. Passive voice, when used on purpose, can soften moments or shift focus.
The magic lies in knowing why you’re choosing one over the other.
So next time your prose feels sluggish, don’t panic. Just ask:
Who’s actually doing something here?
Chances are, your story will wake right up.

Your turn: Do you find passive voice sneaking into your drafts? Or do you use it deliberately for effect? Share your thoughts—I promise not to ban the word “was.” I answer all comments personally. James