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Writing That Turns Heads and Opens Wallets

Redundancy in Writing: How to Handle Alliteration, Sibilance, and Repetitive Letters

27/7/2025

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Hello, fellow fiction writers—sometimes we writers get a little carried away. We love words. We love rhythm. We love it when sentences sing. But sometimes that lyrical magic we think we're creating just ends up a bit much.

Today, we're diving into redundancy in fiction writing, especially when it comes to alliteration, sibilance, and the good ol' repetitive alphabet trap. These sound-based flourishes can work beautifully when used with intention—but they can also bog down your prose, pull readers out of the moment, or worse, make your writing feel like a tongue-twister gone rogue.

So, how do you spot these issues? And more importantly, how do you fix them? Let's break it down—with examples, a few personal oops moments, and a healthy dose of "you're not alone."

🎯 What Is Redundancy in Fiction Writing?
Redundancy happens when your writing says the same thing twice—or more—without adding anything new. In terms of sound, it can show up in subtle ways:
  • Overuse of the same starting letters (alliteration)
  • Excessive hissing or breathy sounds (sibilance)
  • Repetition of the same letters or sounds in a way that clutters rather than enhances
These techniques aren't inherently bad. In fact, they can be powerful when used with purpose. The trouble comes when they're unintentional or overdone.

✏️ Alliteration: The Over-Eager Attention Seeker
Alliteration is when you repeat the same starting consonant across several words. Done right, it creates rhythm and emphasis. Done wrong, it sounds like you're writing ad copy for a toothpaste brand.
Example (bad):
Peter proudly placed the porcelain platter on the polished pine table.
That's a mouthful, isn't it? The point of the sentence (that Peter put a plate on the table) gets buried under all those Ps.
Fix:
Peter set the porcelain dish on the table, careful not to scratch the wood.
Much smoother. Still clear. And hey, we didn't lose the image—we just dialled it back a notch.

🐍 Sibilance: Slippery Slope or Stylish Sound?
Sibilance is the repetition of soft consonant sounds like s, sh, and z. It can sound lyrical—or like a snake convention.
Example (bad):
She silently slid the sash shut, shivering as a soft sigh slipped past her lips.
It's dramatic, sure. But it's also exhausting to read. Try reading it out loud—you'll hear the hiss.
Fix:
She closed the sash and pulled her coat tighter, her breath fogging in the cold.
Now we've got the same vibe without sounding like a cartoon villain.

🔁 Repetitious Alphabet: When the Same Sounds Get Old
This one's sneakier. You're not exactly alliterating or creating sibilance—you're just overusing a particular letter or sound, usually unintentionally.
Example:
Benny bought a bundle of balloons before breakfast.
Feels like a nursery rhyme, doesn't it? That's not great if you're trying to build tension in a thriller.
Better:
Benny picked up a few balloons before breakfast.
Still simple, but it doesn't read like a tongue-twister.

💡 So, When Can You Use These Techniques?
Here's the good news: alliteration, sibilance, and repetitive sounds aren't evil. In fact, they're tools—just like metaphor, dialogue, and pacing. The trick is intention.
Use them when:
  • You want to draw attention to a moment
  • You're writing poetic narration or internal monologue
  • You're creating a specific tone (playful, eerie, whimsical)
  • You're writing for younger audiences, where sound play is part of the fun

👣 Personal Anecdote Time
I once submitted a short story that opened with this line:
"The storm screamed, slashed, and surged through the shattered streets."
I thought it was brilliant. The editor gently (but firmly) wrote back: "I think your storm might need to take a breath." Oof. But she was right. The drama was undercut by the overuse of alliteration.
I trimmed it down. The storm still raged—it just did it with less flair and more impact.

✨ Final Tips for Fiction Writers
  • Read your work out loud. If your tongue trips, your reader's brain might too.
  • Trust your verbs. Strong verbs can carry a scene without extra fluff.
  • Avoid drawing attention to the writing. The goal is immersion—not showing off your Scrabble skills.
  • Be deliberate. If you use alliteration or sibilance, ask yourself: "Does this enhance the story—or distract from it?"

💬 Over to You!
Have you ever caught yourself writing "clever" alliteration that didn't quite land? Got a favourite example of sibilance used well (or terribly)? Drop a comment and share—it's a common experience, and we're all still learning. I answer each message personally.


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