Internal Action vs External Action in Fiction

Hello, fellow fiction writers.

If you’ve ever been told your story has “plenty happening” but still feels slow… or that it’s “emotionally rich” but lacks momentum… you’re probably wrestling with the balance between internal action and external action.
Both matter. Both are powerful. But when one outweighs the other for too long, readers start to drift.
Let’s break this down in plain English.

🎯 What Is External Action?
External action is what we can see happening in the story world.

• Characters fight
• Doors slam
• Plans unfold
• Cars crash
• Secrets are revealed

It’s movement. It’s visible. It pushes the plot forward.
Example:
He ran across the platform and leapt onto the train just as the doors closed.
That’s external action. We can picture it.

🧠 What Is Internal Action?
Internal action happens inside the character.

• Doubt
• Realisation
• Fear
• Memory
• Moral struggle
• Decision

It’s psychological movement rather than physical movement.
Example:
As the train pulled away, he realised he wasn’t escaping. He was running.
Nothing explodes. But something changes inside him.
That’s internal action.

⚖️ Why You Need Both
External action without internal action feels hollow.
Internal action without external action feels stagnant.
Readers don’t just want to know what happened. They want to know what it meant.

✏️ A Quick Comparison
External-Only Version:
She confronted her sister. They argued. She left.
Functional. But emotionally thin.

Balanced Version:
She confronted her sister. The argument started the way it always did — with blame. But this time, instead of defending herself, she stopped. She let the silence stretch. Then she walked away, not defeated.
Now we see:

• the conflict (external)
• the emotional shift (internal)

That’s story growth.

👣 A Personal Lesson: The Overthinking Draft
I once wrote a novel where my protagonist thought beautifully. Deep reflections. Emotional insight. Pages of it. But very little actually happened. A reader said, kindly: “I feel like he’s processing life, but not living it.”
They were right. I’d drowned the story in internal action. Once I forced him to act on those thoughts, the book came alive.

🔥 When External Action Takes Over
The opposite problem is just as common.
Fight scenes. Chase scenes. Escapes. Arguments.
But no emotional processing.
Readers might think:
“That was exciting… but I don’t feel anything.”
Action is spectacle. Internal action gives it weight.

🛠 How to Balance Internal and External Action
Here’s a simple editing test:
After every major external event, ask:

• What changed inside the character?
• What did they realise?
• What decision did they make?
• What belief shifted?

And after every extended internal reflection, ask:

• What action follows from this?
• What does the character do differently now?

Thought must lead to action.
Action must lead to thought.
That loop creates momentum.

🎭 Genre Differences (But the Rule Still Applies)
-Thriller
Lots of external action — but internal stakes make it gripping.
-Romance
External obstacles matter — but internal vulnerability drives the arc.
-Fantasy
Battles and quests are external — but identity, responsibility, and sacrifice are internal.
-Literary Fiction
Often heavier on internal action — but still needs external movement to avoid drifting.

🚫 Common Imbalances

• Pages of reflection before anything happens
• Huge events with zero emotional consequence
• Characters reacting physically but never evolving mentally
• Characters evolving mentally but never acting on it

Growth isn’t just thought. It’s behaviour.

🎬 Wrapping It Up
External action moves the story forward.
Internal action moves the character forward.
When both are working together, scenes feel alive.
When one dominates, readers feel it.
So next time you revise, don’t just ask, “What happens here?”
Ask, “What changes here?”
That’s where real narrative power lives.

Your turn: Do you lean more toward internal action or external action in your drafts? And which one gives you more trouble? Let’s compare notes.