In the last post: Dick Charmer threw a handful of insults at Bert. But only because Bert was still handcuffed...
Life in the Clouds. Charismatic stories.
Dear friends, if you like a good chuckle, dim-witted heroes, and larger-than-life villains, then you'll love this fascinating series. On Wednesdays and Sundays, I’m blogging nibble-sized chunks of new ‘Life in the Clouds’ stories. You can check in regularly and read them for free, or wait to buy the entire story when published.
Enchanter on the Roof ® James Field. Part 40
Dick Charmer appeared from his house after five minutes, and Bert had to look twice before he recognised him. The young scoundrel had shaved his head bald and wore a checkered shirt and dungarees: a typical farmhand.
“You’re not going to snitch on me, are you?” said Dick Charmer. He spoke with a Polish accent now and prodded a couple of acne spots that weren’t there before.
“Caw, blimey!” Forgetting Chief Inspector Dobbs had handcuffed him to a scaffolding pole, Bert absent-mindedly tried to scratch his arse. When that didn't work, he clawed his head instead.
The little bunch of handcuff keys magically appeared in Dick Charmer’s hand. He dangled them in front of Bert’s nose. “Want them?”
“Course I do,” said Bert, reaching for them.
“Shame.” Dick Charmer tossed the keys up onto the scaffolding boards above their heads. "I'm glad I'm not in your shoes when Dobby the Bobby gets back. He'll go bananas when he sees I'm gone."
As Bert gazed longingly upwards, he felt something slide over his head and drop around his neck.
“It’s a gift,” said Dick Charmer. “A gold necklace with a locket. And inside the locket is a picture of some hunky guy.” He chuckled, dropped his pouch of stolen jewellery into his small battered suitcase, and snapped the lid closed. “Dobby the Bobby won’t be in such a hurry to chase after me while you’re explaining where that little trinket came from. Bye-bye, and when you’re sitting in the clink, don’t forget to spread the news of the great ‘Four-P’.”
To be continued…
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Like to know more about Alf, Bert and the rest of the gang? You can read their chaotic history in What on Earth.
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Have You Seen Luis Velez? by Catherine Ryan Hyde
My rating: 2 of 5 stars
This book should have been called 'The Big Book of Morals'. This is one of the slowest books I have ever read, with an end so feeble that I can almost hear the author saying, "Sorry about that, but I wrote this because I thought you needed a modern-day bible on how to live your lives." The characters are so goody-goody, and blessed with such incredible luck, and do nothing but stuff grandiose life-lessons down your throat that I can only award this book a weak 2 stars.
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