In the last post: Dick Charmer attracted paying crowds to Ye Olde Inn. Shame this was his last evening...
Dear friends, if you like a good chuckle, dim-witted heroes, and larger-than-life villains, then you'll love this fascinating series.
On Tuesdays and Saturdays, I’m blogging nibble-sized chunks of new ‘Life in the Clouds’ stories. You can check in regularly and read them free, or wait to buy the entire story when published.
Enchanter on the Roof ® James Field. Part 09
“Look at him go,” said Styles, tapping his walking stick to the driving rhythm and urging his stiff old hips to rotate like Dick Charmer's. “Dances like he’s got a weasel up his bum.” He slapped the cane across the bar. “Drinks all round." A cheer went up from all but Bert.
What’s the matter with you? Don’t be such a party killer!”
Bert glared at him, jowls and eyes sagging. “What’s the time?”
“What a stupid question to ask at a time like this. Why ask me?”
“Because I lost me watch.”
Styles blinked at Bert and then gawked at him. He'd envied Bert's watch, a flashy Rolex that had cost a fortune. “Tough! Where’d you lose it?”
“If I knew that it wouldn’t be lost, would it.”
Styles slapped his knees and cackled. “You got me there."
Since Bert and Olive had engaged to marry, and Bert had moved to a house at The Stables, Styles had seen a lot of him at Ye Olde Inn. Bert was the biggest man he'd ever met, a blend of solid fat and steel-hard muscle. And by the looks of his face, you'd think he was a bogeyman: a fitting security guard for the neighbouring Cloud Mansion and Estate. "You on duty tonight?”
“No, it’s Alf’s shift. Ain’t my turn until tomorrow afternoon.”
“Cheer up then you grumpy bugger.” Styles chortled and shuffled his feet. He knew he could say what he liked to big man without him taking offense. It was only when you'd known Bert for a while that you saw his soft centre. Apart from the occasional brawl, he wouldn’t hurt a fly. Put in jeopardy, he'd protect children, friends and animals with his life.
“Seems like the devil’s got into the youngsters tonight.” Styles turned his attention back to the disco and waved his arms and walking stick in the air. “Never seen them having this much fun.”
He whacked Bert’s broad back with his cane, raising a haze of glittery dust in the disco’s pulsating lights. “Go and dance with Olive. Aren’t you two engaged?” He smacked his gums and snickered. “She can’t dance to save her soul, but she makes me horny just looking at her. If she were my girl I wouldn’t be sitting here moping.”
To be continued…
The real world:
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Quest for Lost Heroes by David Gemmell
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
Good story. A little complicated maybe with all the weird cultures, clans, names and places, but by the middle it had me hooked. In a minor way, this reminded me of Lord of the Rings. All the elements are here: wizards, the void, brave heroes, damsels in distress, battles, action, and the search for an object that will save the world. In this case, a pig farmer's daughter!
Unlike many quest stories whose hero is a reluctant girl, this legend is about a bunch of magnificent old men. They are has-been heroes who miss the glory of war and set off on a quest just for something to do.
All sounds rather amusing, but this is serious stuff. One rape scene near the end of the story seemed unnecessary and almost had me throwing the book away in disgust.
Seemingly, it's the fourth in a series, so I came in a bit late, which explains why I found it tough to get into. Still reads fine as a stand-alone though. I shan't go back to read the earlier titles, but if there had been a follow-up, I would have read that too.
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James at Goodreads