Bert felt jealous, cheated on, and blue. Then he discovered he could morph into a giant nightmarish slug...
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On Wednesdays and Sundays I’m blogging nibble-sized chunks of new ‘Life in the Clouds’ novellas. You can check in regularly and read them bit for bit, or leave a message in my 'contact' page, and I'll send the entire digital story to you for free when published.
Life in the Clouds #6: Take a Slug ® James Field.
In the last post: Dick Charmer attracted paying crowds to Ye Olde Inn. Shame this was his last evening...
Dear friends, if you like a good chuckle, dim-witted heroes, and larger-than-life villains, then you'll love this fascinating series.
On Tuesdays and Saturdays, I’m blogging nibble-sized chunks of new ‘Life in the Clouds’ stories. You can check in regularly and read them free, or wait to buy the entire story when published.
Enchanter on the Roof ® James Field. Part 09
“Look at him go,” said Styles, tapping his walking stick to the driving rhythm and urging his stiff old hips to rotate like Dick Charmer's. “Dances like he’s got a weasel up his bum.” He slapped the cane across the bar. “Drinks all round." A cheer went up from all but Bert.
What’s the matter with you? Don’t be such a party killer!”
Bert glared at him, jowls and eyes sagging. “What’s the time?”
“What a stupid question to ask at a time like this. Why ask me?”
“Because I lost me watch.”
Styles blinked at Bert and then gawked at him. He'd envied Bert's watch, a flashy Rolex that had cost a fortune. “Tough! Where’d you lose it?”
“If I knew that it wouldn’t be lost, would it.”
Styles slapped his knees and cackled. “You got me there."
Since Bert and Olive had engaged to marry, and Bert had moved to a house at The Stables, Styles had seen a lot of him at Ye Olde Inn. Bert was the biggest man he'd ever met, a blend of solid fat and steel-hard muscle. And by the looks of his face, you'd think he was a bogeyman: a fitting security guard for the neighbouring Cloud Mansion and Estate. "You on duty tonight?”
“No, it’s Alf’s shift. Ain’t my turn until tomorrow afternoon.”
“Cheer up then you grumpy bugger.” Styles chortled and shuffled his feet. He knew he could say what he liked to big man without him taking offense. It was only when you'd known Bert for a while that you saw his soft centre. Apart from the occasional brawl, he wouldn’t hurt a fly. Put in jeopardy, he'd protect children, friends and animals with his life.
“Seems like the devil’s got into the youngsters tonight.” Styles turned his attention back to the disco and waved his arms and walking stick in the air. “Never seen them having this much fun.”
He whacked Bert’s broad back with his cane, raising a haze of glittery dust in the disco’s pulsating lights. “Go and dance with Olive. Aren’t you two engaged?” He smacked his gums and snickered. “She can’t dance to save her soul, but she makes me horny just looking at her. If she were my girl I wouldn’t be sitting here moping.”
To be continued…
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The Thursday Murder Club by Richard Osman
My rating: 2 of 5 stars
There’s a lot to like and a lot to dislike in this story. I like that it’s cosy, funny, and heart-warming. The plot, however, is a tragedy. There are two murders, and every character in the book, of which there are many, has a motif. With so many twists, turns, and red herrings throughout the narrative, it lost me in a virtual maze.
But the author commits the gravest crime: he introduces a new, guilty character right at the end of the story. Tut, tut, naughty.
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